


Tilt-A-Whirl

by drvology



Series: Admit Two [1]
Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-09
Updated: 2011-12-09
Packaged: 2017-10-27 03:14:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/291034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drvology/pseuds/drvology
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared knew what to expect at the fair -- junk food, rides, a few games, more junk food. He never expected more than that or to really even have a good time. But a least there was the junk food.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tilt-A-Whirl

**Author's Note:**

> For the LJ challenge community [spn_reversebang](http://spn-reversebang.livejournal.com/profile), inspired by sagetan's [wonderful art](http://sagetan.livejournal.com/19425.html).

The Motley County, Texas, Carnival and Rodeo wasn't a bad one, even considering that it was small and the fairway had limited games and the rides were rundown. The mutton busting was always hilarious, and the baked-goods stalls were a buffet that dreams are made of--Jared should know, he'd been here every year for the past five years and it'd never changed.

When he was eleven, he'd become the odd sibling out. Older brother Jeff off to athletic camp, younger sister Megan to pony camp, while he'd just wanted to hang out and be in San Antonio with unlimited time to absorb his favorite comic book store, stacks of books and video games, and the Star Wars marathon in the old-style theater not far from the Riverwalk.

Instead his mom and his cousin Derek's mom had decided he'd have a great time visiting, since he and Derek were only a year apart, and wouldn't it be nice if they got to know each other and hung out, and Jared didn't have to be home alone for those weeks in the summer.

Jeff was now in college, and Megan had traded braiding horses' manes for the athletic camp Jeff had excelled at. Jared was still a dork who kinda didn't fit in the middle, and he still got sent to hang out with Derek.

It wasn't so bad, but not being so bad didn't make it what he wanted to be doing, either. Especially as in the intervening years, Jared had joined the debate team and Derek was fast losing braincells to playing right tackle; Jared had read Harry Potter twice and Derek rebuilt carburetors; and Jared watched the guys of the groups going by, while Derek elbowed him about the girls with the best tits or smile or likelihood to talk to them.

Simply put, Jared almost hated being here, anymore. Which meant his attempts to make the best of it found him at the fair since it'd opened for the day, because it was a good excuse to wander around on his own, looming over a table of mini pies.

"They're three for five. I can only hope you've tried the pecan."

Jared turned to see who'd talked to him, and maybe answer in more than smalltalk if it wasn't a carnie weirdo, hoped it was the passel of old lady bffs who baked them because maybe he could charm them out of a few free ones, then froze. More like erupted into flames or starbursts or something, but arrested into awestruck all-systems-tingling just the same.

The garbled, food-choked voice belonged to a gorgeous boy nearly as tall as him, grinning around stuffing another of the pecan pies in question through perfectly kissable lips. He chewed it in a few hasty chomps then swallowed roughly, wiped at the crumbs on his chin and missed most of them.

"It's like. Eating heaven or something." The gorgeous boy pushed another five-dollar bill into the slot cut in the plastic lid of an old coffee can. "Get one, on me. Just to prove that I'm right." He picked a cherry, and the peach that Jared had been almost obscenely caressing.

Jared considered it a moment, then dug a wad of ones from his pocket. He put them in the coffee can and took a pecan and two caramel pies. He tossed a caramel pie at the guy and winked. "I already know. _You_ have this one, on me. It's almost always overlooked but that's like, criminal. Totally gives you away as a tourist if you don't get the caramel."

"We could share?" Cute Guy hesitated. "Okay is that weird? I think us each getting double the kinds of pie to eat elevates the situation above the whole 'but we just met' caveat, right?"

Jared stared, couldn't quite believe what had just been said to him and how it'd been said. It sounded like he sounded, the words in ways people usually poked fun at.

It was also a very fair point and a good argument. Aside from the whole sudden sweat and ringing in his ears and pound of his pulse that told him he really, definitely wanted to spend more time with this person.

Jared realized Cute Guy had gone silent, laughed in an awful mix of nervousness and squeak, tried to salvage the moment.

"Right, totally. I mean yes, pies are an absolute counterpoint to stated caveat." He grinned, then pointed at the furthest bench in a row that angled from the food stalls, blissfully shaded and empty and almost-private seeming. "Make a run for that one. I'll meet you in a sec."

"I'm on it. I'll hurry but make it look like I'm going somewhere else, so I don't birddog anyone that it's free. But, on my honor, I'll dive for the bench if any bluehairs or whatever get in my way." He relaxed, and there was a fleeting surge of relief behind his eyes, then he was off.

Jared smiled goofily and watched Cute Guy go, eventually remembered about the pies. He traded one of the caramel for the apple crumble that was his second-favorite--tied with peach and cherry and pecan--then trotted toward the bench.

"So, hey, I'm Jensen."

Jared tried not to say that Jensen was a perfect name for a perfectly gorgeous boy to show up and be his handsome stranger for a day. Instead, he dipped low in an ungainly bow, spread his arms wide.

"Jared T. Padalecki, at your service." He straightened, almost lost one of the pies but managed to right himself and everything else without hitting dirt, then dropped heavily onto the bench next to Jensen. "So, come here often?"

He couldn't resist the tease, exaggerated his voice so it'd sound ridiculous and silly instead of threaded with innuendo and hope, like he felt warming his belly. He tried not to be breathless waiting for Jensen's reaction.

Jensen's eyes crinkled adorably and he laughed, sharp and short, nudged into Jared's side with an elbow.

"I've never been here before, but I do live in Texas. Though it's been months since I was in Texas."

Jared's whole face crimped inward with bewilderment.

Jensen flaked some piecrust then shook his head. "Sorry, I think I've lost my socialization and gone like, feral or something." He snickered. "I've lived in an RV and at campsites with only my family for company the entire summer. My mom decided we should have some epic vacation this year--this is probably our last stop before we're finally home again."

"Wow. Has that been like, torture or good or maybe both?"

"Mostly good, some torture, but really, I've had a good time." Jensen slowed down in eating the last pecan pie. "The only really sucky thing is mom made us hand in our phones for the whole trip, something about wanting us to actually talk to each other and not be stuck in games or texting all the time."

Jared elbowed Jensen. "Dude, man. Poor you. I bet you went through withdrawal. I'm not attached to my phone or addicted to it or whatever, but I'd probably miss it more than I realize if it was taken away."

"Yeah, at first I thought it was ridiculous, but it's actually been fun. It did make us talk to each other, and I learned a lot of funny shit about my parents I don't think they'd ever have shared, otherwise. Plus, I got really good at starting fires--even the sticks together kind, you know?"

Jensen paused, and Jared did know, nodded avidly and they shared a smile, then a laugh, as they both had spontaneously made a similar set of quick gestures to indicate _base stick plus two rubbing sticks made to go like this equals fire!_

"That was totally awesome, making me nearly zombie apocalypse survivor ready, I figure. The fallout being, I think I'm an expert at counting cards for gin rummy and Sorry! tactics, now, which I can't really see as being all that useful for anything."

"Hey, I bet you could level up to spades or hearts--then what's to stop you from conquering euchre and maybe even canasta. You'll be a real shark in like, only ten summers from now or something."

"Yeah, thanks. Shaddup." Jensen flipped him the bird.

Jared tried very unsuccessfully to hide a grin and continued to snark, "I'm great with a manual can-opener, so between that and the caveman fire building, the zombies could shamble out right this very moment, and we'd stand a chance."

Jensen harrumphed into him so they weighted side to side.

"Okay, actually--fire-starting like that is really cool." Jared picked crumble from the cherry crumble pie and nibbled at it. "So where did you go?"

He thought about taking such a trip, and imagined Jeff or Megan's reactions to being denied their special weeks away at their special camps. Not that they were spoiled or mean, but he couldn't see them going along with it as willingly as Jensen--or that he'd like, if he was honest--and he couldn't see their parents giving up their own time to tool around in a camper all summer, either. It all made him a little sad.

Jensen studied him a moment, and Jared forced a smile. Weirding out the cute guy you just met by going all my-issues-here-they-are on them, so not cool.

"Pretty much everywhere." Jensen spanned his hands wide open in front of them, arms stretched far apart.

Jared laughed. "Okay, more specifically--where's everywhere?"

"Glacier Park to Mount Rushmore on down? Except maybe New Zealand. I swear we even passed a view of Tasmania after driving a loop along the Gulf then back up the Mississippi, but I could be wrong." Jensen spread his hands and gestured hugely, drew a sketchy map in the air.

"There's been geysers and monuments and kitsch stores and motels shaped like cowboy boots, and I think I've eaten every blue plate special that could be conceived. And all of them with cornbread--don't get me wrong I love cornbread--but I've learned when it's bad, it's really bad."

He paused, found Jared staring, curled his hands into fists and subsided.

"Whoa, sorry there. Kinda got started, didn't I? Like you care about my dorky epic family adventures." Jensen blushed, and Jared lost a bit more of his heart.

"I got distracted by the cornbread mention, took it to the really good cornbread place. Full-on honey and butter melty goodness." Jared curled his fingers several times in loping waves, indicating the flow of his thoughts. "That came after thinking 'what a damn shame.' Go all that way just to skip New Zealand? If anything I'd have insisted we stop, get out and at least set foot on Middle Earth." Soon as it was out Jared thought oh, great, dweeb alert.

Jensen only found that grin again, was right along with Jared. "When mom asks where we want to go next year I'm going to say New Zealand. They have tours that take you to all the places built just for the trilogy and the artisan shops and everything."

"Good plan. Get a Fellowship Leaf while you're there." To save himself from adding 'awesome I'll come with you,' Jared stuffed the apple pie into his mouth and tried to be equitable about biting it more or less in half. He passed the rest to Jensen and smiled. "That's a relief. I thought I'd just tripped ass and teakettle over the _total dorkwad_ obstacle there."

"What? No way. The only dorkwads in relation to that are the losers who didn't like the movies, because the movies are amazing. The books I've read, of course, but they're honestly a bit boring, I'm sure you agree. But the movies? So good." Jensen ate the apple pie and hummed happily. "Speaking of so good." He waggled his brows.

Jared patted his tummy. "I do agree. About the books, too."

"That's reassuring." Jensen smiled, then crinkled the plastic wrap between his fingers, peered at Jared. "So--wanna hang out, today? Show me around? I have twenty dollars in tickets and I figure I should make the best of them. I bet you know the fairway games that are least rip-offy and the rides that are actually worth going on."

Jared half-coughed and was brought up short, but he tried not to gape, something he was already painfully aware was becoming a habit with Jensen around.

This was definitely too good to be true. He was being offered the chance to spend all day with Jensen and he hadn't even been made to go through crazy shenanigans or outright begging to make it happen.

"Hey, what? You already have huge plans laid out for your day?" Jensen smiled, but it wasn't as bright. "It's cool, no big deal."

Jared was amazed and a little worried he could already tell so much from the change in Jensen's smile and the slump in Jensen's broad shoulders.

"No, no. I was just glazing over there thinking about taking you on the tour of the entire gastronomical world of delights, all the way back to the pies." Jared knocked into Jensen. "With rides in between to like, shake up room to make more gaps to stuff with more to eat."

"Awesome," Jensen grinned. "I'm glad this isn't too weird. I mean, I don't know what got into me." He got serious. "I don't usually share pie."

"Banner day, then," Jared teased, already found himself digging his knee into Jensen's, and not just because it felt so nice to make contact. It was just that comfortable to be able to do so.

Jensen bit one in half, made a yummy moaning noise that shot straight to Jared's dick, then he handed over the other half. Jared liked that there was no fussiness about trading spit or needing a fork or something, and he absolutely did not have a foolish swooning moment thinking _this is where his mouth was_ as he shoveled and chased tumbling cherries with his tongue.

He shook himself, somewhere between wet dog and a dizzy spell. Changed the subject so have something else to focus on.

"We have to ride all the big rides first. The earlier it is, the shorter the lines. Also, no having to stash or deal with whatever we might win at the games. Are you good at any in particular? We won't do the sharpshooter range one because it's like, hella rigged, but knocking down bottles or whatever with beanbags--you only get stuffed animals or stupid trinkets to choose from but I don't know, it's still fun."

Jared sucked in a long breath and found Jensen staring at him. Instead of making him feel awkward or weird, it reminded him of the ways he'd tried not to get caught staring at Jensen. He just knew Jensen was trying not to stare at him, and really liked that.

Like, really really.

"The swings and tilt-a-whirl are excellent choices, unless you have defective inner ears. I don't like the tower drop, because the line is always long and it only lasts a few seconds. And I always go on the little roller coaster, even though I basically wear my knees as earrings the whole time."

Jensen snicked and hummed a long, musing sound. "Luckily, my inner ears are superior to most of the ordinary citizenry. So put me down for swings as a yes, and tilt-a-whirl as a double yes. Then we can go knock down bottles and whatever, then later the coaster. How's that?"

Jared took Jensen's outstretched hand, and they shook on it, held on far too long.

"Deal."

The ride lines were true to Jared's learned prediction, short and fast, the families with little kids already having gone through and wrapping up their days with dinner but before the nighttime crowd descended.

They were slotted on opposite sides of the swings, both put on the outer circle, and they waved and made faces at one another the entire ride. Then they ran to the tilt-a-whirl, rode it three times in a row without being made to exit and rejoin the nearly empty line between rides, breathlessly, wonderfully, crammed together in the tiny car, hand-over-handing the wheel so they'd spin faster and faster and faster, in counter to the giant spin of the platform.

When they'd teetered off, after, they'd recovered in a patch of grass nearby, lying down starfished until their tummies rumbled and Jared suggested they get corndogs and whoopie pies.

"Do you have fried Oreos?" Jensen asked, sticky with the deep-fried Snickers bar they'd split.

"What? No." Jared considered it, and he frowned. "Damn, no we don't, never have either. And now I want one," he pouted.

"Hunh. That's a shame. They're good, as good as the peach and cherry pies." Jensen thought it over. "Not as good as the caramel or pecan, but definitely nomilicious." He hipped into Jared as they started towards the fairway, catching crumbs as they walked and ate. "Maybe they'll have them next year."

"Yeah. But." Jared huffed. "I won't be here next year, so it won't matter."

"Oh." Jensen drew up, tossed his corndog stick in the trash, eyed the games. "Are you graduating? Moving?"

Jared scowled. "What? No. I'll only be a junior this year, and, god, I hope we're not moving."

"Me too!" Jensen grinned. "The junior part. And I hope we don't have any plans to move, either. This summer's trip has had enough moving for me to last a long time. Like, at least a few months. But--I meant about the fair next year, here, and you not being around?"

Jared didn't answer, instead dragged Jensen to the duck pond.

"I've gotta win some fish! I get a few every year and bring them home and they keep me company and I don't know, there's something mutant about fair fish, I swear. They're just these little dinky goldfish, but they're tough as anything and last forever."

Jensen looked at him funny, narrowed and confused and Jared knew he'd been babbling and this probably seemed way random. He shrugged and scratched at his neck.

"Well, forever for goldfish."

He passed a wad of tickets to the carnie, got a jangle of rings to try and toss at the ducks floating in a kiddie pool. If you got a ring around a duck's neck, you got to pick a prize, and the duck pond always had the mutant-uber-survivor fish.

Jared's first two tosses missed. He sighed, decided that there was no reason to lie or hide anything. They'd just met but Jared trusted Jensen, felt like they'd been buds for, well, a lot longer than a few hot, dusty hours of happenstance in Motley, County.

"I'm not coming back because I don't actually live here--my stupid cousin Derek and his family does. Our moms decided we should become besties or something so I'm shipped here every summer, just so we can ignore each other and he can make fun of me liking dork-things and deciding to wear random orange scarves and not wanting to go to some monster truck rally. I'm not coming back because we live in San Antonio, and next summer, I'm staying home."

He threw another three rings, missed all, again. Didn't realize he wanted to say that much about it to Jensen, couldn't regret explaining or revealing, and didn't feel vulnerable even though he'd cut pretty close to the bone, there.

The bitterness in his tone did surprise him, though. He was usually better at pretending life wasn't something he minded and that things were hunky-dory. Especially since it'd sunk in that he wanted boys instead of girls. But he was still in that awkward in-between phase of having realized it, without having any opportunity or person or place to explore anything about it.

Jensen pried the last two rings from Jared's hand. Jensen's tongue poked from the corner of his mouth, adorable with intense concentration. He lined up to take a toss, body shifting so his shoulders hunkered and his legs loosened and he looked totally, completely, kissable. He threw one ring, then the other in quick succession, winking at Jared immediately after.

He'd just won Jared two super-fish, easy as that.

"It sucks to be shipped off like that, I'm sorry. But I bet--I don't know, I bet if you told your parents you'd outgrown visiting Derek, it'd go okay." Jensen raised his hands, upturned. "I'm just spit-balling, but you're nice and cool and laid-back, so I'm guessing your parents aren't totally high-strung and unreasonable. You should just tell them you're not happy doing this anymore." He laughed. "Easy for me to say, I know, but I say go for it if you hate it here. Summers are way too precious to waste like that."

Jared found himself nodding along. "Yeah. I really should, if for no other reason than to never again be subjected to Derek's Neanderthal ways. Not really my thing, I've discovered." He crouched in front of the fish tank. "Hey, you pick one and I'll pick one, okay?"

Jensen beamed. "Cool."

He splayed his hands on the glass and Jensen crouched beside him, and their fingertips touched, zinged through Jared like electricity. He picked one that was light orange and had tiny black and brown spots all over it. Jensen's pick was bright and brassy-orange all over except for a single white dot on its face.

They stood too close while the carnie ran the fish down and snared them with a little net, then dumped them into a plastic bag of water, knotted it and handed it over to Jared with a tired smile.

"Like your freckles," Jared teased.

"Like _your_ mole," Jensen fired back, poked at the bag and Jared's fish choice once Jared had it in hand.

They blinked, laughed, nervous and telling and yeah, they'd definitely noticed a lot about the other.

"Next year I'll find something just for me to do," Jared promised the fish, held up so he could look at the sunshine through the water and limning the edges of their yellow-gold feathery fins. He smiled over at Jensen, but Jensen's attention was riveted elsewhere.

Jensen cupped his elbow. "Okay, we gotta win that." He pointed at the hanging display of stuffed animals and pulled them to the bottles, said, "My treat," and handed the guy working this booth a line of tickets, got a pile of bean bags to throw in return. "And that sounds good. The next summer thing. You'll find something--I know! You can come to New Zealand and Middle Earth with me."

Jared had a difficult time not taking it in all seriousness and agreeing on the spot. "It's a date," he snapped, light and lightly sarcastic.

They shared a look, longer than any before, and Jared noticed far more than Jensen's freckles and startlingly green eyes and long eyelashes and broad shoulders and--well, everything.

"Three bottles down is a win! Any three from any stack!" the booth operator announced, jarred them from their stare.

Jared hefted all the bean bags in one hand, squirmed and wrestled Jensen behind him when Jensen started to pick them up. Jensen squawked a complaint but Jared laughed, shoved Jensen completely away.

"No, I know the secret, besides it's my turn."

He waited for Jensen to stop poking him and for his laughter to subside, and fighting laughter somehow made it harder _not_ to giggle. After sobering enough to feel steadier, he threw all six small bags, lobbed slow and easy one after the other, like he would a basketball for a free-throw shoot.

He'd learned in summers past that if you tried to wing them like a baseball it put too much spin on them, and they'd invariably thwack the back tarp just shy of hitting any of the bottles. But if you gave them a gentle lifting throw, their weight would bring them right back down again, no movement or shifting of the sand inside to throw them off course.

Jared grinned, dimples creasing deeply, crowed in triumph, "See?"

He'd hit every stack and knocked over seven bottles, total.

Jensen whistled appreciatively. "Oh, my hero." He pointed into the mass of fuzzy-faces looking down on them. "I want the moose, please."

The booth guy snerked but got it, handed it over. "I've had this one for awhile now, no takers. He came with all the cute bears, like a reject or something. Uh, not that it's bad you want it." He turned to Jared. "Did you want something? You knocked down enough bottles to win another prize."

"Nah, thanks. I'm good."

Jensen fussing the moose's ears and antlers back in shape and Jensen's pleased grin was more than enough for Jared.

"Thanks." Jensen kissed the moose on the nose then held it in front of them as they walked from the booth. "He'll be a perfect reminder of the day. And--" Jensen grinned at Jared. "He reminds me of you."

Jared wanted to protest, or say something funny, but all he did was grin stupidly and ruffle the moose's short fur. "What'll you call him?"

"I'm not sure yet. I'll have to get to know him, learn what he should be called. You know." Jensen tucked the moose under an arm, sure to leave its head free so moose could look around.

"I do. That's the way I was with my dogs. Couldn't just give them a name--had to get to know them, let them help me out with that." Jared reached over and tickled moose's ears again then he shoved his hand in his pocket. Keep it busy and out of trouble, or at least, less likely to get into trouble there.

"You have dogs? That's awesome. I love dogs." Jensen scritched absently at moose's antlers. "I can't wait until I live somewhere I can get some of my own."

That was just, too much. Well, almost too much for Jared to take. He could still stay right here and be with Jensen and everything, but it was starting to seem like Jensen was too perfect and too much. Resisting blurting out _we're soulmates and meant to be and destined to meet like this oh my god run away with me_ was starting to become an issue.

Jared glowed over warmly, loved that Jensen loved dogs too.

"Yeah, Sadie and Harley. They're the best. Tell you what, when you pick me up for our New Zealand trip, I'll introduce you. Then they can be like, sorta yours until you can get your own."

"Okay now, that's _definitely_ a date."

Jensen looked at Jared meaningfully, or at least Jared hoped he was getting the correct meaning from this. Jared reached out and patted the moose--safer than grabbing Jensen by the collar and doing all the wonderful, dirty things that paraded past his imagination. Jensen's hand curled very close to Jared's, heat from it palpable against Jared's skin.

"This is gonna sound corny as all hell, but," Jensen fidgeted then smiled bashfully. "Well, I feel like we've been friends for a long time already. Way longer than a day at some random fair I never even knew existed before. You know?"

Jared tried not to throttle the poor moose, and it'd be a huge mood-killer if his heart burst through his chest all _Alien_ and gross. He licked his lips, shivered when Jensen watched him lick them again, nodded and kept nodding.

"Yeah. I know."

The day wore into dusk, then twilight, and they talked about everything and anything as the fair faded in a blur of too much delicious junk food and swirling lights and Jensen's heat at Jared's side. Where they wanted to go for college, what to study, what it'd be like once free and on their own.

Jared steered them to the fresh old-fashioned donuts booth, got them a dozen to share, liberally coated with powered sugar and cinnamon. Jensen reached over and thumbed the corner of Jared's mouth, caught a smear of sugar.

"I think I just made that worse." Jensen licked his thumb, and that was feverishly even better than the sharing pie thing.

"Hmmm, I think you did," Jared offered, dusted at Jensen's cheek, fingertips tingling enough to make his whole body shiver. "Yep, totally worse," he teased.

Jensen batted his hand away, fumbled a napkin then passed it over, crumply and sugar-laden but clean on one side.

"So. More games? A friend to go with your moose? Or more food?" Jared rose onto his tiptoes, waggled his fingers with excess energy, shifted his fish from one hand to the other. "I dunno, I can usually eat about five more deep-fried anythings before the night's over." He turned and grinned at Jensen. "You choose. What next?"

They milled to a pause where the fairway met the food avenue, screaming laughter from the rides somewhere behind them drifting over everything.

Jensen looked around quickly, then levered into Jared, pushed them behind two food booths that met in a T, into the shadowy lee where it seemed quiet and secreted away. All their sides were protected, the windowless backs of the booths, a line of fencing, the stack of pallets Jensen had veered them around.

"This, next," Jensen said, fingered the edge of Jared's scarf. "I like your orange scarf," he smiled, stared at Jared's mouth. "This, finally," he breathed, seemed to laugh at himself but kept grinning, open and anticipatory.

The sensation of Jensen's knuckle brushing along Jared's chest was enough to make Jared weak, then go wide-eyed and stammer, "I like... ah, you." He blinked, stared, then blushed full scarlet. "Oh, wow. That was. That was incredibly uncool and really just not. Wow."

Jensen's grin softened, and he settled the moose between them on their chests, then gripped the scarf in a sudden tug, enough to surprise Jared into moving, and they met in a kiss. A dry, lips-closed, eyes-open to see Jensen's laughter still there, kiss. It was everything a kiss should be. Even better, everything a first kiss had to be. It made Jared think about fireworks and movie moments when the couple just falls in love and in porn when the guys going at it suddenly start kissing like it's the last thing they'll ever feel and--

\--he should stop there.

Jared cleared his throat and pulled back with an abrupt start, still blushed red but now it was a jittery, sweaty flush as much as anything.

Jensen popped an eyebrow quizzically. "I'm sorry, I thought, I mean. Okay." He shrugged, didn't seem embarrassed but there was some uncertainty about his stance. Disappointment lurked in his gaze, the track of his eyes over Jared's lips as Jared nervously licked them. He smiled crookedly, but it was small and tight, started to pull away.

It made Jared laugh, funny and off-kilter but excited, and that made Jensen look at him even stranger. Then Jared hooked Jensen's neck with a hand and crash-landed them closer for a second, deeper, kiss.

Jensen's breath whuffed and his hands flailed, then gripped Jared's shoulders, and Jared wheeled to knock against the fence.

It was even better than the first. Way better than anything Jared had ever felt or imagined, and it made him curl fists in Jensen's shirt at the hips, tug them tighter as if they'd disappear from one another. He shook, still laughing in that funny over-excited way, and this all scared him, too.

Only their second kiss, only his second ever, and he already thought this was it for him. He thought about what everyone would tell him if he said he'd just met someone, and it was perfect, chiding him for puppy love or whatever. Jared knew better than that, he was sure. He was done for, gone, gonna fall in love with Jensen and never stop.

Their tongues met, tasted, and it tickled enough for Jared to snicker, drag a hand up Jensen's side, tuck their faces together because he needed to feel the world under his feet again, remember gravity and sense and catch his breath.

Jared panted against Jensen's cheek, rubbed his fingertips in whorling patterns through the fine hairs at Jensen's nape. "Not too fast," he muttered.

"I don't think so, either." Jensen laughed, rumbly and pleased and not at all scared or strange. He pulled away enough to look Jared in the eye, grinned wider.

"Oh." Jared blinked, then he ha-ha'd at himself. "Definitely not, not even, but that wasn't what I meant. That was the answer to a battery of imaginary conversations I was having and..." He licked his lips. "And I just said _all_ of that out loud, didn't I?"

"I like you, too," Jensen said, soft but clear and without hesitation or making fun.

They trembled over, laughed more, absorbed in one another. Jared was fascinated by the colorful play of lights from all the rides and flashing signs over Jensen's skin, in Jensen's eyes. He leaned in again, stole a third kiss, hard and fast, eyes open so he could see this different freckling on Jensen's skin and the pleased glow in Jensen's gaze.

Jensen pushed his hands against Jared's chest, sucked in a breath then let it go sharply. He huffed, drew his shoulders up, then said, "Let's-- go ride the ferris wheel."

Jared stammered uncertainly for a moment, brows drawing together, but he nodded and palmed the fence, pushed and righted himself to step away.

"It's just, otherwise, I'm going to try to do things to you I don't even know _how_ do to yet. And much as I think I'd like that--and I mean, like it with you--I don't really want to do that, here." Jensen indicated the area surrounding with a spin of a finger. The barely-hidden shadows they'd found, the sounds of the fair and all the people so nearby, the reek of funnel cakes and machine oil and beer. He rounded onto his toes, grabbed Jared's wrist. "Besides, I wanna make out and maybe maul you a little when the car stops at the very top."

The idea made Jared woozy and had him grinning like a loon again. They found his fish and Jensen's moose, forgotten in the heat and discovery of those kisses. Jared let Jensen drag them along, studied the shape of Jensen's hand on his arm, the profile Jensen cut against a backdrop of yellow and orange and amber, diluted and hazed by humidity and fair-food smoke, wanted to taste cotton candy from Jensen's lips.

"Jensen! Dude, freaking finally--there you are!"

Jensen's grip tightened and Jared stumbled into Jensen when they drew up short, suddenly stopped again.

"It's like, an hour past check-in time and Mom's going crazy and Dad said not to worry but of course, there's nothing but worry about you."

"Uh, hey Josh." Jensen's voice was thick and rough.

Jared somehow already knew it was mired in a mix of too many things, the sudden shift from their excitement, a spike of fear from being so startled, then the drop of disappointment. He shifted, straightened to full height, was ready to crowd this guy and stand between him and Jensen.

"No, it's okay," Jensen said, just for him. He smiled and huffed a short laugh then rolled his eyes. Then he said, louder, "This is my brother, Josh."

"Yeah, your brother Josh who's gonna get his butt chewed if I don't find and return you to the car in like," he checked his watch, "five minutes. C'mon, it's time to get going."

Josh had hold of Jensen, now, and Jensen's grip on Jared was loosening.

"Just a minute, I want--"

"Josh? Jensen? Oh, Jensen honey, there you are!"

Jensen groaned and dropped his face in a hand, and Josh snickered, mocked a sing-song _foooound youuuuuu_.

The woman who took Jensen's touch away from Jared completely could only be Jensen's mom, looking exactly like Jared's mom would if she'd been the one convinced that somehow, her otherwise capable and responsible, pretty mature teenaged son could up and disappear at a back-of-nowhere dink of a county fair where nothing dangerous was happening.

"It's been hours, Jensen. Where have you been?" she scolded, no anger, just worry.

Jensen scoffed, tried to reach back for Jared. "Mom, I'm not ten and it hasn't been hours. It's okay, okay?"

"It has and it's not! I was worried sick and your father is already in the camper with the engine running and he's been threatening to leave you here! It's _two hours_ past when we had planned to leave." She frowned. "Of course he wouldn't, but you know how he gets. Why didn't you check in with us like you were supposed to?"

"Ahh, well." Jensen grinned apologetically, tipped his head towards Jared. "I kinda got distracted?"

Jared went from a dismayed and interested bystander to feeling like a bug under a microscope in the span of the few seconds it took for Josh and Jensen's mom to pin him with assessing stares. It also pleased him to hear he could, and did, distract Jensen so completely.

"Hi?" he offered, half-waved. He had no idea what Jensen might or might not want him to say. He wasn't sure that he knew what he wanted the implication to be.

Distracted as in, oh yeah, flirting and getting hot under the collar then necking and groping and losing track of time like the horny kids they were, or distracted as in, well, that Jared was a great conversationalist. Or something.

"I'm not ready to go yet, but I will be really soon, promise. Give me a minute to say goodbye, okay?" Jensen reached back for Jared again, was blushed again but not embarrassed, didn't quite make contact when they were interrupted again.

"Mom! Josh! Have you found Jensen yet? Dad's moved the camper he said he'd pick us up by the back gate and he said to find you and tell you to get going, we're already behind schedule and he was grumbling about even stopping here because we have to get the camper back by tonight at nine or whatever or we have to pay another day's rental and, oh Jensen there you are!"

Josh laughed. "Oh, man. You know it's bad if Dad trusted Mac to find us and get us going."

"He's right. We have to go. Come on, honey. It's been a long trip and apparently an even longer drive. I think my suggesting it'd be fun to check out this fair was finally his breaking point." Jensen's mom started to tug Jensen away.

"No, just a second okay?" Jensen scrabbled ineffectually. "A second won't make a difference after two hours! Please."

She glanced at Jared uncertainly, then relented with a weary smile and small nod. "All right then, one minute. And I'm counting so make the most of it."

Jensen wrenched forward and Jared was stunned motionless. Before either of them could say anything there was a long, loud burst of honking that somehow managed to sound ominous and angry. The entire crowd at the fair turned and goose-necked to glare incredulously at a revving RV almost poking its nose past the front gates, still blaring its horn.

"Mom, let me have your phone, or my phone, just gimme a sec--"

But it was all inexorable and somehow too late, and Jared stood helplessly by while Jensen was denied, hustled along, taken from him. He couldn't even give chase, sprint after then run next to the camper while Jensen yelled out a number. The fairgrounds always had crap reception, and he didn't want something dumb luck terrible to happen like having his phone get sucked into some ride's inner-workings, so he hadn't brought it.

This was an entirely different kind of terrible luck. The frustration and hopelessness welling up to fill his insides almost brought him to tears.

The last he saw was the moose, held against Jensen's chest and peering back over Jensen's shoulder at him, looking forlorn and betrayed.

He watched them pile into the RV, too dark to tell if Jensen watched after him the way he stood, rooted, to watch its tires grind impatiently in the dirt lot then peel away. The way he stood, both hands white-knuckling a hold on the knot of the plastic bag for the fish Jensen had won him, that he kept watch until taillights were nothing but tiny red dots at the horizon, almost obscured and overpowered by the flashing lights from the fair.

Okay. It was now official. He hated this whole goddamn place and everything about it.

Jared sighed and abandoned the fair, didn't bother to look for a ride home, started walking. Kept walking until he collapsed on the hide-a-bed in the basement that was his for the weeks he was here, still hating everything except Jensen and so glad he got to go home in a few days.

* * * * * * *

Jared lay on his stomach, arms folded under with his hands flattened to his chest. He watched his two goldfish swim lazy circles in the huge vase no one wanted that he'd turned into a tank--complete with a plant cutting stuck in there so the fish could hide in the roots or nibble around--and tried not to be the mopiest, most miserable teen-in-the-throes-of-dismal-angst ever.

He wasn't doing the best job of that.

His fish--the bright gold and white-moled one--glided down to poke at the rocks Jared had stolen from the neighbors a few doors down, pretty dark gray pea gravel all smooth and round. The Jensen's-freckles-fish continued to hover in the plant, both of them ignoring the other blithely, and Jared sighed.

A deep, dark and dramatic sigh, because two goldfish not spending every second fins pressed together wasn't exactly a despairing metaphor, but his frustration and longing was real, not at all histrionics or drama, and acutely felt.

He'd searched for Jensens in Texas but hadn't gotten very far. He'd found foreign car dealerships that sold Jensen Interceptors and FFs. He'd found a lot of people with the last name Jensen, including some guy's moving company that specialized in carting antiques and pianos with his two sons. But Jensen--his Jensen--was nowhere to be found.

Maybe he was an idiot for thinking it was anything beyond a few hours at a stupid fair in a stupid place he'd never go again. Maybe Jensen had been a figment of his imagination, so desperate to have something that was only for him and just as good as what Jeff and Megan got to have, every summer. Maybe--

"Jared? Honey?"

He closed his eyes and groaned into his pillow, then made himself roll to sit, grabbed a book and tried to pose casually and not at all emo-boy-with-a-crushed-heart-and-never-to-be-fulfilled-dreams, then grunted something that almost sounded welcoming.

His door opened slowly then his mom poked her head around it, giving him a smile that was both affectionate and patronizing, that he both hated and was reassured by.

"There you are." She came further into his room.

"Where else would I be?" Jared asked, sharper and with more acid than he intended.

His mom hummed lightly, glanced around his mostly clean room, gaze landing on the fish. "You've seemed a bit down since getting home. Did everything go okay?"

"Mom," Jared whined. He stuffed the paperback under his pillow and twisted so there was no way he could look at the fish with all the intensity and need that'd been bottled inside since losing Jensen. That would really give his mom something to pester him about. "I said I was fine and I am. It's just Derek and I aren't really buddies anymore, he's okay and wasn't mean but we're never going to be friends. We didn't even really hang out."

"Well." His mom paused, tipped something flat and white from one hand into the other. "You don't have to go back next year, if you don't want. You'll be a senior anyway, so maybe there'll be schools you want to go visit, or something else you'll want to do."

Yeah, like be with Jensen somewhere and spend the whole summer doing--everything. Jared frowned, then blushed, then tried to look normal.

"Anyway!" She flapped a hand, smiled again and the thoughtful cloud cleared from her eyes, then she held out the mystery object. "This came for you today. Real mail, Jared, how last century of you."

Jared's heart thumped, then flip-flopped, then choked to a stop. He bit his lip and told himself not to be stupid, took the envelope and tried to be cool about it, didn't read the return address or look at the handwriting.

"Anything I should know about?"

"I don't know about it," he answered, total duh.

Jared fingered the edge of the envelope, thought for sure it had to be from Jensen, it just had to. He wasn't sure he'd recover if it wasn't. But at the same time, hoping that and wanting that was so hard. He tried to be okay with the idea that maybe one of his friends sent him something stupid or this was a college pre-application interest letter or whatever.

He just held it, stared at it without seeing, looked up a moment later and his mom smiled softly. She left with a knowing expression, sure she'd get the answer out of him eventually, and closed the door again.

As soon as the latch clicked, Jared fell back with a whoosh. His hands shook and he'd started to sweat and he was crimping the edges of the envelope with his knuckles.

Jared opened the letter carefully, still wouldn't look at the return address. It was a single page, torn neatly from a perforated notebook, college-ruled, and Jared smiled and traced the darker blue lines on the off-white paper that he recognized as being _at least 80% post-consumer waste!_ with earth-friendly ink, just like he made his mom buy.

He unfolded it, smile widening at how perfectly square and neat it was folded, the holes lining up and lines overlapping, palms sweating even more and his hands shaking harder, because now he was sure. This had to be from Jensen.

_Jared, hi._

He caught his name and closed his eyes, goofily wanted to savor this and live in a moment of unrepressed glee before reading what might actually be in the letter. Maybe Jensen regretted things or just wanted to be friends or there was a check inside to pay Jared off to never tell anyone about what had happened, or.

Maybe Jared should just keep reading.

_Jared, hi._

_This is Jensen, if you haven't already figured that out._

_Haha so I hope this doesn't seem totally creepy stalker of me, but it really is totally creepy stalker, right? Anyway._

_Luckily I remembered your whole name -- I mean, of course I did, it's kinda a thing unto itself plus I was dying to remember everything about you, so, it really stuck -- and also luckily, like I said, it's kinda a thing unto itself._

_Google led me to a lot of interesting and mostly useless stuff, and I despaired enough for my mom to be all worried about me, but after a refueling with some homemade cookies she made me out of weird mom worry-guilt and enough Red Bulls to give me the shakes [okay it was only one and it was actually just apple juice but it sounds more dramatic the other way], I found an article in some paper that mentioned you winning a debate team finals thing [debate team! you little nerd :D]..._

Jared's heart did the glowy, flippy thing at the hand-drawn smiley face Jensen had added, and he could hear Jensen calling him a little nerd in a way that so didn't hurt.

_...that also had your dad's name. And your dad is listed with this address and so I took the chance that being in high school and all, you still lived at home, and this was your house and that this letter would find you._

_The third lucky thing is you can't see how freaked I am at sending this, because what if you react terribly or this isn't really you at all, and yet how completely miserable I've been since the fair and having no other way to talk to you. Yeah. That'd be really embarrassing. ;)_

_What was embarrassing was my mom's freak out and my dad being an equal freak and I'm so sorry about that. Actually they've always been freaks and kinda embarrassing so whatever, they make up for it in other ways. What I'm actually sorry about is that we just left like that, before I could get your number and make you promise that you'd talk to me again. I didn't mean for that to happen -- not my parents and them being freaks part -- the part where I was an utter doink and how you totally distracted me and like separated my brain powers from apparently everything else and how I kinda forgot we just hadn't known each other forever already and would keep knowing each other forever so getting your number immediately somehow didn't feel like a big deal until, of course, it totally was, and then it was too late._

_And now I've really rambled enough and I'm just writing this and not over-thinking it so it'll probably make almost zero to zero sense._

_So, here's the important part. If you're still reading, and if this really is you, and you're not too creeped out by my super-sleuth stalkery of you, I really want you to email me. First just to talk and so I don't have to wait forever for you to send a letter back [not that it wouldn't be cool! I'd take a letter from you]..._

Jared made a mental note to take one of Megan's puppies-and-hearts cards and send it to Jensen.

_...but second because there's a fair near my house next week. I know for sure it'll have the Oreos I told you about, and deep-fried Coke. Mom said if you asked your mom and they talked that you could come if you want to come. I hope you want to come haha oh my god, I'm like, sweaty and blushing and grinning and I bet I seem like a complete tool right now but whatever. I want you to come, okay? And not just so you can taste one of those amazing Oreos and tell me it's just as good as that pie._

_Also do me a favor. Even if you don't want to come or want anything from me at all, email and tell me that, instead. Just so I know this letter didn't end up with some other mysterious Jared Padalecki now going all "wait, WTF" and feeling paranoid about life. I promise to leave you alone, after that..._

Here, Jared could see those beautiful green eyes dim, the droop of Jensen's shoulders, and he couldn't wait to taste those Oreos either, kiss them out of Jensen's mouth and the smile back on Jensen's lips and the sparkle back into Jensen's eyes.

Fuck. He'd have to take some of Megan's puffy stickers, too, hearts and rainbows and unicorns, and not just to kid around with Jensen to tease. Already he had it so bad, and didn't care if Jensen knew it. After sending this letter, it was only fair; Jensen deserved to know it.

Jared felt like he'd have it this bad maybe for the rest of his life, too, so that made it a lot less scary to consider sharing.

_...Okay, well. I don't really know what else to say, so. Bye_

_OH! One last thing ------ definitely definitely definitely not too fast._

_< 3Jensen_

_[ps J-Moo Moosealecki says HI!]_

Jared had a flash of insight that told him, absolutely, how Jensen had clutched onto J-Moo with as much moody, fervent intensity as he'd been staring at his fish the past several days. He blushed and couldn't stop grinning and reread the letter in a scatter of phrases and imagined the sound of Jensen's voice.

He fixated on the tiny heart Jensen had drawn, touched his fingertip to it, then he let the letter flutter to rest on his stomach. He whooped--quiet enough so mom wouldn't come running, but a whoop just had to happen--looked over at the fish, once again swimming alongside each other, and everything terrible moments ago was now washed over in technicolor and sour-patch candy sugar and other amazing stuff.

He patted the letter, sighed out in a long low breath, then he fell off his bed in haste, stumbled and half-crawled using the corner of the mattress to get himself upright again, trip-ran over yesterday's discarded shoes and a pile of books that should go back to the library, finally made it to his desk. It was an eternity before his laptop booted up, even longer for him to login and wait for its programs to load from sleep, even longer still for the wireless to get found.

His laptop not being on and busy with a gazillion different things at once -- including playing an endless random loop of all his favorite mismatched music -- was substantial proof he hadn't been himself since the fair.

He tabbed to his email, typed in Jensen's address by memory then painfully, so carefully, triple-checked he'd gotten it correct, then he held his breath and hit _send_.

Jared rubbed his lips with his fingers, fiddled the bottom one around and rolled and twisted it, drummed the fingers of his other hand on the desk. His skin ached and his nerves tingled and his heart was thrumming like he'd sprinted a mile. He hit check mail, bobbed his knees, hit check mail again. Then he opened the sent folder so he could look at the message he'd just written, tangible proof of their reconnection.

Grinned, almost pacified into patience waiting for Jensen to answer, imagined Jensen grinning too once it was received.

__  
**YES!!!**  



End file.
